Silence Over Domestic Violence

Star Q

i.  Pindang Serani

ii.  Pre-Reading

iii.  Majlis Agihan Duit Raya

Image sourced from Google 

None of us in our right mind would want the world to know about the quarrels and squabbles that go on in our household, be they with our spouses or with our offspring.  More often than not, we choose to keep things hidden within the fences of our homes (even if there were no fences!) and would try to solve things by ourselves, in our own time.

But once in a while things go out of hand and the consequences can be quite devastating.   And still many of us out of guilt, fear or embarrassment choose to keep it quiet, until or unless other people outside the confines of our homes get to know about it; worse still if it gets caught on camera and is recorded for eternity for the whole world to see (and judge!)

However, even with such incriminating evidence, the culprit always denies everything and thus begins the lengthy proceedings to prove his/her guilt (or innocence!)  Sadly, in the midst of all this brouhaha, not only do the family members of the culprit gets entangled in the web of his/her domestic violence; other people can also be directly affected, especially those who lodge the report against the culprit!

I experienced one such unsavoury situation once with a next door neighbour (I cringe at the thought of calling him my neighbour!)  The couple of the household had four children, one of which, a daughter, was a disabled girl, who was unable to talk and had some moving disabilities.  I often heard loud screams coming from inside the house and in time I came to find out that the screams were that of the disabled girl.  I also found out one day when the couple were not at home (being more of a concerned neighbour than a nosy one!) I happened to glimpse into the house through an open window.  I was shocked to see the girl in chains fastened to the wall, with a plate of rice in front of her.  Rice was all over the floor and the girl was screaming because her siblings were beating her with a stick.

I had tried to be patient about the situation and finally (again, more of a concerned neighbour than a nosy one!) I plucked enough courage to hint on the situation to the girl's mother.  I was totally taken aback at how she reacted to my thoughts about her daughter!  She yelled and screamed at me and warned me to mind my own business.  Her banshee-like yells could be heard by all the other neighbours!

Still, trying to keep my patience, I reported the situation to another neighbour who happened to be a police officer.  The police officer went over to this neighbour's house to talk the situation over.  Apparently, this neighbour was so angry because I had reported to the police that she made my life a living hell from that day onwards.  She would purposely throw rubbish into my compound,  she would turn on her radio or tv set full blast and she would organise many noisy and loud gatherings just to spite me.

It was a long, sad experience for me and my family having to put up with all that.  But the point I want to highlight here is that, despite my best intentions to report the domestic violence, it was not readily and willingly accepted by the guilty party; far be it accepting the neighbourly gesture with warm hearts and open arms.

Well, they would have reacted to my reporting and making public their domestic violence with open arms; but only to reach out to my neck and strangle the breath out of me.   So, when it comes to reporting domestic violence, for now at least, I have taken a vow of silence!